For When You Are Flattened
I write this supine, in my bed, flattened by a cold. Flattened. Razed, like a building to the ground. Made flatter, less alive, less buoyant, less vibrant.
Sometimes I am flattened by overwhelm and anxiety.
Sometimes I am flattened by helplessness for how small I feel in relation to the big-ness of the climate crisis. Sometimes I am flattened by grief.
And so on. Often the physical response to an emotional feeling of flattening, for me, is to literally be on the bed, floor, or supine in some way.
I’d like to share with you a mantra that Britt shared with me. You can use this when you feel flattened, or feel like your lights are a little dim.
"I love you, I’m listening.”
If you want to tie it to your breath, it sounds like:
Inhale - “I love you.”
Exhale - “I’m listening."
I used this mantra for my morning meditation and got clear, almost immediately, on what it was I needed to tend to my sick self today. What’s so interesting and beautiful about this mantra is that there is no specific request I am making of my body or heart, but when I clear my internal space, my body and heart make themselves known. They tell me what they need. It’s akin to a conversation where, if you are really listening, quiet and wide-eyed, the conversant opposite you actually has a lot more to say than if you were to jump in with the next thing. Give it a shot.
I love you, and I’m listening,